When Alicia meets the new guy in school, there is something about the mischievous look in his eyes that implies he's breaking the rules by talking to her. It's the rule abused kids live by - don't let anyone into your life. Don't let them see the real you.
She and Zack both have secret lives that only the other can understand. They suffer in silence, afraid that no one will believe them. Can their love for one another help free them from their turbulent lives, if only for a few minutes at a time? Together, can they find the courage and strength to escape from their hidden world of lies and deception in order to live normal lives?
Content warnings: This is story is meant to inspire hope in abused teens and young adults, though there are a number of traumatic scenes of physical, emotional, and sexual abuse. Some scenes may be disturbing for readers.
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Excerpt:
Turning my head at a noise next to me, I ignored the fallen pencil and locked onto the blue eyes that were smiling apologetically at me less than six inches from my arm. Zack’s smile was something poets took years to describe in poems as they tried to capture the innocence mixed with a hint of mischief. I completely forgot about my wall of silence as I turned my body toward him, unable to resist his playful grin.
I think my mouth must have fallen open because I suddenly started coughing as I choked on nothing but air.
The rest of the class turned to see if they needed to administer CPR or call for the paramedics. Even Scott raised his eyebrow at me. “Do you need water, Alicia? You can run to the water fountain if you need to,” he said, motioning to the hallway. His voice sounded somewhere between amused and annoyed. I was convinced that Scott was gay, though he did everything within his power to hide it from the Catholic School Administration. It would have been frowned upon by the church, though Scott seemed to be liked by the other teachers.
I nodded my head, trying to remember what it was like to breathe normally. I made it the hallway as fast as my Rockports could carry me. My sensible walking shoes got me to the water fountain and I drained half of the water supply before I came up for air. In an unladylike move, I wiped my mouth from my elbow to my wrist on my navy pullover sweater. When I was able to move air through my windpipe without keeling over, I threw my hip into the nearest locker and leaned my head against it. I suddenly realized why I had put up the frost wall to keep Zack out and why I had nearly swallowed my lungs. I could never have Zack, even if I wished for it on every birthday candle.
I slunk back into the room and ignored the snickers from the two senior girls in the front row. I pulled my skirt against the backs of my legs and I tried to sit quietly as the wood rubbed against the metal contraption they dubbed a desk. Scott had forgotten about my interruption had moved on to helping someone who had a finger cut off by a jigsaw. The vast majority of the room was grumbling about the graphic photos in the textbook and asking questions about how much ice was needed to keep the finger cold. The morbid kids were busy doodling little squirts of blood around the hand.
Zack, however, was staring at a blank section of desk. His book was open and he was on the correct page, but he seemed like he was three states away. I knew how he felt. It was like that for me most days.
Curiosity tugged at me and I was forced to look at him again. He was hunched over on his forearms and his feet were tucked away on either side of the desk. He looked like a normal, bored student, but there was something about his expression that made him stand out from everyone else. His smile had vanished and he almost looked worried about something as he glanced up at the clock. I was sad when the bell rang, signaling that I had run out of time to look at Zack for the day.
Grabbing my purse from behind my chair, I absently watched Zack pick up his books. I opened my mouth to speak though I hadn’t completely formed the words in my brain. “If you want to avoid Heather, I would use the stairs in the middle of the school. It will take you a little longer to get to the lockers, but I mostly see her, or rather, ignore her, coming up the stairs on this side of the building.” I regretted the sound that came from my throat instantly.
He frowned at me like I was a lunatic and then suddenly a blindly gorgeous smile crept across his lips. Before I knew what I was doing, I was smiling too, though I probably looked high. He nodded and gave a small chuckle. “Thanks for the advice. I like your escape plan better than the one I came up with,” he said, looking at my face instead of the floor, the wall, or the speck of dust on the heater behind me. “I was planning on either jumping out the window and making a break for the parking lot or climbing onto the desk and crawling through the ceiling until I made my way to the roof.”
The sparkle in his eyes showed that hint of mischief I had seen earlier. I stupidly shrugged and nodded, unable to reply. By the time he made it to the door, I had my witty reply all ready, but of course, it was too late. He looked over his shoulder at me and pointed in the direction of the main staircase. I nodded with a stupid grin on my face.
Tabitha Barret is an Award Winning Multi-Genre Romance author who graduated from Rutgers University with a BA in English. She married the guy from her Creative Writing class and together had two amazing children. They live together in a quiet town in New Jersey with their four insane dogs.
She is currently working on her RH Paranormal Romance series, The Third Throne, as well as a number of other books that are warring in her head.
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